a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
