i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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