All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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