so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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