I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
