Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
