In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
