Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
