it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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