i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
