He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
false alarm, still single
Randomize
