Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
