Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
