I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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