You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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