The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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