we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
