You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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