i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
