hell yes lets make some ravioli
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
