thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
