It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
