How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
