2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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