I want to have your abortion
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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