Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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