Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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