i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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