Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
