i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
They took my balls.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
