No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My feet surprised me
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