Kiss
Puke
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
