So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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