Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
