Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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