if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
