help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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