I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
where are my eyebrows?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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