to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize