Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
