Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
