help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
