we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
