Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
