well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
