I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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