Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
