i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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