So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize