"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
