I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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