no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
