Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
