Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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