Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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