But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
