The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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