dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
