I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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