omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
