Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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