Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I party with great urgency now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
