the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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